Safety Plan
Having a safety plan is essential if you or your children are suffering abuse or living in a violent home and is vital whether you stay in the relationship or choose to leave.
In an emergency the most important single factor is the physical safety of yourself and any children you may have. These are some steps to follow but please remember that every person's situation is different, you may need to take all or only some of these steps and not necessarily in this order.
Safety during a violent incident
- If an argument seems unavoidable, try to have it in a room or area where you have access to an exit. Try to stay away from the bathroom, kitchen, bedroom or anywhere else where weapons might be available.
- Practice how to get out of your home safely. Identify which doors, windows, lift or stairs would be best.
- Have a bag packed ready and keep it at a relative's or friend's home in order to leave quickly.
- Identify one or more neighbours you can tell about the violence
and ask that they call the police if they hear a disturbance
coming from your home.
- Devise a codeword/signal to use with your children, family, friends and neighbours when you need them to call the police.
- Decide and plan for where you will go if you have to leave home (even if you don't think you will ever need to).
- Use your own instincts and judgment. If the situation is very dangerous, consider giving the abuser what he/she wants to calm him/her down. You have the right to protect yourself until you are out of danger.
- Always remember - you don't deserve to be hit or threatened!
THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!
Safety after a violent incident
- Call the police if you are able to.
- If your partner injures you see your doctor or attend hospital as soon as possible.
- Think about speaking to a police officer from the Domestic Abuse Unit or Community Safety Unit.
- Consider seeking advice from a solicitor.
Safety when preparing to leave
- Open a savings account and/or a credit card in your own name to start to establish or increase you independence.
- Think of other ways in which you can increase your independence.
- You can privately receive cheques and letters to begin your independence by getting your own post office box.
- Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents, extra medicines and clothes with someone you trust so you can leave immediately.
- Determine who would be able to let you stay with them or lend you some money.
- Keep a refuge or DV Services phone number close at hand and keep some change or a phone card on you at all times for emergency phone calls.
Remember - leaving your abuser is the most dangerous time. Review your safety plan as often as possible in order to plan the safest way to leave your abuser.
Safety Checklist
What you need to take when you leave:
Identification
- Birth certificate
- Children's birth certificate
- Driving Licence
Financial
- Money and/or credit/debit cards
- Bank details
- Cheque book
Legal papers
- Tenancy agreement, lease, rental agreement, house deed
- Car registration and insurance papers
- Passport for you and your children
- Marriage certificate or Divorce papers
- Custody papers
Other
- Benefit books - income support, child benefit, housing benefit etc
- House and car keys
- Mobile phone/phone card/small change
- Medication
- Jewellery
- Address book
- Pictures of you, your children and your abuser
- Children's small/favourite toy(s)/blanket etc
- Toiletries/nappies and any essential baby equipment
- Change of clothes for you and your children
To download a safety plan check list please click here
Safety in your home
- Consult a solicitor to see if you are able to change the locks on your doors. Buy additional locks and safety devices to secure you windows.
- Discuss a safety plan with your children for when you are not with them. Inform you children's school, day care, etc about who has permission to pick up your children.
- Inform neighbours and landlord that your partner no longer lives with you and that they should call the police if they see him/her near your home.
- Get in contact with the local Police/Community Safety Unit so they can ensure a speedy response to an emergency call from you address.
Safety with a non-molestation /occupation order (injunction)
- Keep your injunction at all times (when you change your bag, that should be the first thing that goes in it).
- Call the police if your partner breaks the injunction.
- If you have a solicitor, let them know if your partner breaks the injunction.
- Think of alternative ways of keeping safe if the police do not respond right away.
- Inform family, friends, neighbours, your doctor or health care worker, and the people you work with that you have an injunction.
Safety on the job and in public
- Decide who at work you will inform of your situation. This should include office or building security. Provide a picture of you abuser if possible.
- Arrange to have an answering machine, caller ID or a trusted friend or relative to screen your calls if possible.
- Devise a safety plan for when you leave work. Have someone escort you to your car, bus or train and wait with you until you are safely on your way. Use a variety of routes to go home if possible. Think about what you would do if something happened while going home (i.e. in your car, on the bus, etc).
- Let someone know what time you are leaving and what time you are due to arrive at your destination
Your safety and emotional health
- If you are thinking of returning to a potentially abusive situation, discuss an alternative plan with someone you trust.
- If you have to communicate with your partner, determine the safest way to do so.
- Have positive thoughts about yourself and be assertive with others about your needs. Read books, articles, and poems to help you fell stronger.
- Decide whom you can call to talk to freely and openly to give you the support you need.
- Look into joining a support group or counselling to gain support from others and to build confidence and self worth.
